MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE
SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING.
your bird is an asshole
you’ve got a lil’ somethin’ right there
People are losing their fire and forgetting about Ferguson. That’s exactly what the police want, though: for all of this to just go away and for people to forget about it.
Don’t let that happen.
Everyone says they was to see Cap pick up Thor’s hammer in AoU, but everyone knows that Cap’s a good guy.
No, what I want is for Natasha to pick it up. In the heat of battle, and it lands beside her, and she gets cornered so she grabs for a piece of debris to attack with and she just swings it completely without meaning too.
Then she realises that maybe she’s good, maybe she’s wiped out the red in her ledger.
Maybe she’ll realise that she’s a hero.
dear mum and dad
i was in the library today
reading a book about previous heads of hogwarts
and i would just like to say
are you fucking serious
i demand a name change immediately
just literally anything else please
fucking dobby kreacher potter for all i care
sorry for swearing i just
aragog fang potter or some shit
Everyone keeps saying Marvel merchandising needs to get us a dancing Groot in a pot. I say while they’re at it, make a cute and totally snuggable Rocket that’s calibrated in such a way that the moment you squish him close and burble YOU’RE SO ADORABLE! he punches you in the crotch.
Those are enemy birds.